As our parents get older, it’s our responsibility to make sure they are getting the help they need. And it’s a conversation we need to handle with care.

In this blog, we’ll share how you can offer a helping hand to your beloved parents in the comfort of their own homes. From recognising the signs that they need assistance, to crafting conversations full of empathy.

What are the signs to look out for?

As we get older, there are a variety of unique challenges that might come our way. However, recognising the signs may help you find the right type of support for your parents. Each situation is unique, and customising your approach is key to providing effective help. 

Here are some signs to look out for:

• Unexpected Falls. Accidents happen, but you can help prevent them by making their living space fall-proof. Get rid of clutter that makes it easy to trip. Install handrails, non-slip mats, and proper lighting (including low level night lights) to ensure their safety.
• Post-Surgery Recovery. After a surgery, the road to recovery can be a challenge, but there are ways to help. Be there to help with daily tasks, remind them of their medication, and create a comfortable resting space.
• Mobility & Balance. As balance changes over time, support your loved ones with walking aids and exercise. Help them maintain an active lifestyle while ensuring their safety. You can elevate their independence by making their surroundings accessible. A cane or walking frame could be the first step. Or install ramps to ensure they can move around safely and comfortably.
• Confusion. Cognitive shifts can be challenging, so it’s important to approach their confusion with patience and understanding. Remind yourself to approach each conversation with grace … even if you have heard the story or joke before! Create routines and engage in memory-boosting activities. Encouraging social interactions and providing emotional support can help you foster a nurturing environment for their mental health.
• Health Conditions. Conditions like epilepsy, Parkinson’s, and heart disease all demand attention. Assist in medication management, accompany them to appointments, and ensure they adhere to treatment plans.
• Sensory Changes. Sensory changes such as hearing, or vision loss requires adjusting their living space. Incorporate assistive devices, install brighter lighting, amplify communication efforts, and enhance their comfort.

Conversations with compassion 

When discussing the need for extra help with your parents, it’s important to approach the conversation with compassion and empathy. Here are a few tips to help initiate that conversation with understanding and care:

1. The Right Time & Place. Timing is key when discussing sensitive topics. Look for a moment where both you and your parents are relaxed and free from distractions. A calm and comfortable environment can create a good atmosphere for open dialogue.
2. Express Your Love & Concern. Begin the conversation by expressing your love and concern for their wellbeing. Let them know that your intention is to ensure they have the support they need to continuing living comfortably and independently.
3. Incorporate Their Preferences. Show that you value their input by asking how they would like to receive support. It’s essential to give your parents a sense of control over the decision. Let them know that their opinions matter and that you are there to support their choice.
4. Discussing Financial Matters. Finances can be a delicate subject, but it’s essential to address it openly. Approach this aspect of the conversation with sensitivity and reassure your parents that you’re committed to finding solutions that align with their financial situation. If necessary, explore available resources or assistance options.

Remember, the goal of this conversation is to create an open and supportive space where your parents can feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns. Your role is to be a reassuring presence, a compassionate listener, and a loving advocate for their wellbeing. By initiating discussions with thoughtfulness and understanding, you can set the stage for productive conversations that lead to a tailored and effective plan of extra help for your parents at home.

Consistency for lasting care

Maintaining a consistent approach is essential when providing lasting care and support for your parents at home. By staying committed and involved, you can ensure their wellbeing and create a sense of stability in their lives. Here are some tips to prioritise consistency:

1. Regular Check-ins. Once you’ve established a plan and implemented the necessary support, make it a habit to check in with your parents regularly. Regular conversations allow you to address any concerns that may arise and ensure that their needs are continuously met. Whether it’s through phone calls, video chats, or in-person visits, these check-ins can provide reassurance and strengthen your bond.
2. Improvements. As time goes by, be open to adjusting the care plan based on their evolving needs. Our circumstances are always changing, and what initially worked before may need modifications. By staying attentive and adaptable, you can ensure that the support provided remains effective and aligned with their requirements.
3. Be Their Admin Ally. Managing administrative tasks can sometimes be overwhelming, especially for aging parents. Help with tasks such as organising appointments, managing medications, and handling paperwork. Serving as their admin ally not only lightens their load but also demonstrates your commitment to their overall wellbeing.

By maintaining open lines of communication, being receptive to changes, and actively participating in the logistical aspects of their care, you can create an environment of trust and dependability. Your consistent efforts contribute to their comfort, happiness, and ability to thrive in their own home.

Remember, your dedication to being a consistent source of support will have a profound impact on your parents' quality of life. By prioritising their needs and being present for them, you're not only enhancing their wellbeing but also nurturing a deeper connection between you and your loved ones.

Have a read of this article explaining how to care for your older parents with dementia, at a younger age.

You could also get them a medical bracelet, so you are reassured they are safe if an emergency occurred while they were out and about. This increases the chances that you will be the first person that’s called. Here are a few styles that we think work particularly well for older parents:

• Cheryl Medical Bracelet – With beautiful shades of aqua beads, this bracelet is strung on memory wire, so it’s ideal for anyone who struggles with clasps or has arthritis
• Confidential Silicone Medical Bracelet – comfortable and washable so they can wear it all the time.
• Dog Tag Medical ID Necklace – with lots of engraving space to add multiple emergency contacts or doctor details.
• Clip On Medical Alert Charm – this is the perfect way to add medical alert details to a special piece of jewellery that they already wear every day.

Arranging help at home 

When personal care or nursing support is needed for your aging parents, it’s essential to consider various avenues to identify the most suitable solution. Here are some tips to consider:

1. Home Care Agencies. Reputable home care agencies can provide a professional approach to addressing your parents' needs. These agencies employ trained and certified caregivers who are experienced in providing a range of services, from assistance with daily activities to medical care. Home care agencies offer the advantage of vetted professionals, backup staff, and personalised care plans tailored to your parents' requirements.
2. Independent Caregivers. Opting for an independent caregiver offers a more individualised approach to home care. Independent caregivers can provide personalised attention, often building strong bonds with their clients. When hiring an independent caregiver, you have the flexibility to tailor their responsibilities to match your parents' preferences and needs. However, it's crucial to conduct thorough background checks, verify qualifications, and ensure legal compliance.
3. Job Advertisements. If you decide to employ a caregiver directly, placing a job advertisement can be an effective way to find the right candidate. Job ads can be posted in local newspapers, online job boards, and community notice boards. Be specific about the required skills, responsibilities, and qualifications you're looking for in a caregiver. While this approach gives you control over the selection process, you'll also need to manage administrative tasks such as contracts and payroll.
4. Online Platforms. The digital age has brought about online platforms that connect caregivers with families seeking assistance. Websites and apps dedicated to caregiving provide a convenient way to find qualified professionals. These platforms often include caregiver profiles, reviews, and qualifications, making it easier for you to make informed decisions. While online platforms offer convenience, it's essential to conduct your due diligence and verify the credentials of potential caregivers.
5. Assisted Living. When they need a little more support or help remembering their medication, assisted living is a good option. It feels just like a small apartment in a community setting, so they can make it feel like home. But there is additional support from regular staff check-ins, reminders for medication, and the freedom to not have to cook every day.

Or check out Vanessa’s story on how she arranged support to help her dad with dementia.

Conclusion

Overall, finding extra support for your parents at home is a beautiful expression of love. By recognising the signs, customising assistance, and upholding unwavering care, you can elevate your parent’s life and nurture their overall happiness. Every action you take shows your dedication, forming a sanctuary of comfort and wellness in the heart of their beloved home.

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