In Sickness and in Health: Finding Love with a Chronic Medical Condition

February 08, 2021

In Sickness and in Health: Finding Love with a Chronic Medical Condition

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, there really is no better time to talk about how to navigate dating and romantic relationships with a chronic illness.

If you live with a chronic condition, you might feel that your health difficulties and love aren’t exactly compatible. But guess what? When Cupid’s arrow strikes, you have every chance for love.

You can still date successfully – you just might need to do it slightly differently in order to be safe for you and your partner. Here are some tips for a smoother dating experience with your condition:

 

How to tell your date that you have a medical condition

 

How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend about your medical condition

Dating someone new is often exciting but a little bit daunting, and having a chronic illness can add a further layer of anxiety to the matter. If your condition is not immediately visible, you might find yourself wondering on the right time to bring it up: Will I scare the other person off if I share too soon? If I wait longer, will that lead to a lack of trust?

While there’s no rulebook about this, you definitely shouldn’t feel pressured to disclose until you are comfortable. Everyone has private aspects of themselves that they won’t throw on the table in the first couple of dates, like finances, ex crushes or family stuff … your illness is no different, and it’s fine to wait until the relationship starts looking serious if you so wish.

If you have decided to open up but are still unsure on how to handle the conversation, why not prepare some bullet points in advance, or even a letter to read aloud to your date?

You should aim to educate your partner on your condition and the ways it might affect the relationship. If you feel afraid that your illness might be a deal-breaker, try to look on the bright side: you won’t be wasting more time and energy on a relationship that was never going anywhere.

Find out more: Love and Disability: How to Tell Your Date About Your Chronic Illness (healthline.com) | Love in the Time of Chronic Illness - The Atlantic

 

What to avoid on dates if you have a medical condition

The right person for you won’t be put off by your condition, and you can easily work out ways to adjust dating to your specific needs. For example if you have diabetes, a bit of extra planning will do the trick: discuss with your partner restaurants that fit your dietary requirements, and if the date involves something more active like going to a concert or hiking, just make sure you bring some fast-acting carbs like hard candy or juice in case your blood sugar drops.

If you have epilepsy, ask your date to avoid places with flash lighting, alcohol or late nights, and other things that might trigger a seizure. If you have asthma, let your date know that cologne and flowers are a big no-no. As for food allergies, ask your partner to carefully brush their teeth before you reward them with a kiss. If you suffer from RA, you might worry about heading to the bedroom … a warm shower or a massage will relieve the stiffness in your joints, whilst also acting as sexy foreplay!

 

Dating with epilepsy, avoid strobe lighting

 

Dating with asthma, avoid flowers for Valentines Day

 

Dating with food allergies, brush your teeth

 

The bottom line is, don’t be afraid to express your needs clearly; someone who’s truly interested won’t see them like a burden – they only thing they’ll care about is spending quality time together in a way that is fun, but also safe for you.

Find out more: Dating and Diabetes | Dating With Epilepsy | EpilepsyAdvocate | Stop asthma ruining your love life | Asthma UK | The Benefits of Dating Someone with Rheumatoid Arthritis (creakyjoints.org)

 

Look after your health if partner has condition

 

Looking after both people’ needs

It is also important to consider the needs of your partner. If you are romantically involved with someone who is chronically ill, try to remember that you won’t be able to offer them proper support unless you take care of yourself first.

In order to avoid stress or burnout as a caregiver, be kind to yourself and make your own health a priority: eat well, sleep enough, practice relaxation techniques and remain socially connected. Join virtual and in-person support groups, and by all means rely on friends and family. You and your partner could keep a list of things that need to be done, so when they ask how they can help, you are prepared. Also, it is okay at times to still go for a night-out with friends if your partner needs to rest or is too tired to come along. Paying attention to your own physical and emotional needs doesn’t make you a selfish person, and will ultimately benefit your partner and your relationship, too.

Find out more: Chronic Illness in Relationships: Communication, Intimacy, and More (webmd.com) | How to Avoid Caregiver Burnout and Manage Stress (aarp.org)

Whatever your condition is, there’s no real reason why it should prevent you from having a love life that is as exciting, fulfilling, and, yes, as challenging as anybody else’s ;)

Hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day x

 





Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in News from Butler & Grace - medical and personalised jewellery

Are you making these 5 mistakes with your medical bracelet?
Are you making these 5 mistakes with your medical bracelet?

June 29, 2022

Deciding what information to engrave on your medical bracelet can be confusing if you have more than one medical condition, allergy or medication. It’s important to remember your options to avoid making mistakes.

Here are 5 common mistakes people make with their medical bracelet ...

View full article →

Why wear a medical bracelet if you have Diabetes?
Why wear a medical bracelet if you have Diabetes?

June 08, 2022

If you have diabetes, wearing a medical bracelet or necklace can give you the confidence and independence to help you to feel like yourself again. You can choose your own style, design, and engraving on your diabetes medical bracelet ... to let others know how they can help you in an emergency. It’s also a reassuring way to make sure your friends or loved ones get called first, if anything happens.

View full article →

Why wear a medical bracelet if you have Asthma or COPD?
Why wear a medical bracelet if you have Asthma or COPD?

May 03, 2022

If you have asthma or COPD, wearing a piece of medical jewellery such as a medical alert bracelet allows you to feel like yourself again. You can choose your own style, design and engraving and let others know how to help you in an emergency. Read more to find out what to engrave, and why it's important to explain the type and location of your inhaler.

View full article →

Welcome to Butler & Grace. We offer products and services for sale under these terms and conditions, which apply to every order, and can only be changed with the express written consent of Butler & Grace Ltd.

It is important that you take the time to read them carefully. They will be updated from time to time without notice (current version is 1.02), and you can always access the current version of the terms on this webpage.

If you have any questions about these terms and conditions, please contact us at hello@butlerandgrace.co

** Please also read our Privacy Policy **

 

Explanation of Terminology

  

Intellectual Property Rights

 

Moderation of Content

 

Variation of Specification

 

Prices and Payment

 

Delivery

 

Care of Jewellery

 

Quality and Performance

  

Returns

 

Alterations and Repairs

 

Love It Guarantee

 

Complaints

 

Force Majeure

  

Jurisdiction

 

Butler & Grace Ltd Logo