Your identity is like a mosaic — complex, colourful, and ever-evolving. Yet for many in the LGBTQ+ community, that mosaic is often misunderstood, mislabelled, or even questioned. Misconceptions about gender and sexuality don’t just cause awkward conversations; they can shape how people see themselves, how they’re treated, and how safe they feel in the world. 

In this blog, we’ll share some of the most common misunderstandings about LGBTQ+ identities and how you can become a better ally. 

Here are 6 Misconceptions About Your Identity:

1. “It’s just a phase.” One of the most offensive and persistent misconceptions is that being LGBTQ+ is temporary — a stage people “grow out of.” Identity is deeply personal and self-defined, so for some, it takes years to find the words or confidence to express who they truly are. For others, it’s been clear since childhood. Dismissing someone’s identity as a “phase” invalidates their truth and silences exploration — a natural, healthy part of being human. 

2. “You can tell by looking.” There’s not a single way to look gay or trans. Gender expression and sexual orientation don’t follow a script — they’re as varied as the people who embody them. Assuming someone’s identity based on appearance can reinforce stereotypes and erase diversity within the community. 

3. “Bisexual or pansexual people are confused.” Fluid identities often get unfairly labelled as “indecisive”, but attraction doesn’t need to fit into neat boxes. Bisexual, pansexual, and queer people are valid — not because they meet someone else’s definition of attraction, but because they know who they are. 

4. “Trans people are just trying to be something they’re not.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. Transgender and nonbinary people aren’t pretending — they’re living authentically. Gender identity is an inner truth, not a costume. Transitioning is about alignment — bringing the outside world closer to how a person has always known themselves to be.

5. “Labels divide us.” Some people choose labels; others do not. But for many in the LGBTQ+ community, having a label is empowering — a word that says, “I exist. I belong. I am not alone.” Labels can help people find community, build understanding, and reclaim language that was once used to harm.

6. “You owe everyone an explanation.” No one owes their story, their body, or their identity to anyone. Coming out (or choosing not to) is deeply personal. Whether someone is open, private, or still questioning, their identity is theirs to define and share on their own terms. 

To find out what other misconceptions there are for the LGBTQ+ community, have a read on the Strong Family Alliance website, or the Parliamentarians for Global Action website. 

How Can You Be a Better Ally?

Being an ally isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about being willing to listen, learn, and show up with empathy. 

Here are a few ways you can be a stronger, more mindful ally to the LGBTQ+ community: 

1. Listen first, speak second. If someone shares their identity or experience with you, honour that trust. Listen without judgement or interruption. Sometimes, being a good ally is less about saying the “right” thing and more about offering presence and understanding. 

2. Educate yourself. Don’t rely on the LGBTQ+ community to explain everything. Read, research, and follow queer voices online. 

3. Respect pronouns & chosen names. Using the right name and pronouns is one of the simplest and most powerful ways to affirm someone’s identity. If you make a mistake, apologize briefly, and move on — what matters most is your willingness to get it right. You could help ease the tension by wearing one of our support pronouns pins. If you’re unsure how someone identifies, respect their boundaries. When appropriate, you can politely ask about their pronouns — or better yet, share your own first with our pronoun pins. Check out our other blog on how to use pronouns correctly. 

4. Challenge bias — even in small moments. Speak up when you hear homophobic, transphobic, or dismissive comments, whether in a classroom, a family setting, or online. Silence can look like agreement. Using your voice can help create safer spaces for everyone.

5. Celebrate, don’t just tolerate. Being an ally isn’t just about defending rights — it’s about celebrating diversity. Attend pride events, support LGBTQ+ creators, donate to organisations, and share stories that uplift queer joy, love, and resilience.

6. Keep growing. Allyship isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong practice. You’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay — what matters is staying open, compassionate, and accountable. The most supportive thing you can do is to create space for them. Look at our Ally in Training pins to help you let others know that you support them. 

For more information, have a read of our other blog on how to be a good ally to your LGBTQ+ friends and family, or how to support transgender loved ones.

In conclusion, at the heart of every misconception is a missed opportunity — a chance to learn, connect, and grow. Being an ally means practicing curiosity without judgement and supporting others in their journeys — even when their experiences differ from your own. 

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